FRIENDSHIP: WHAT MAKES OR BREAKS THE BOND

A lasting friendship is one of the blessings you can receive from God in this lifetime. Most of us want to be in the company of friends and be part of  each other’s lives. We meet people in different times, reasons and seasons. There are those we meet earlier in school and have established friendships through the years.

There are also those we meet in our work place and through other circumstances then we get along really well with them.

A good friendship can withstand the test of time and distance. And when times get tough, a calming voice from a friend is enough to get you by.

However here are some people who don’t know how to value friendship. They don’t seem to understand what it means to be a friend and how genuine this relationship can mean to many. There are several deal breakers that can ruin a friendship and I wrote down a few.

So, if I may ask what are your deal breakers? Well, here are some common factors why friendships fall apart:

1. Money Matters— Money, they say is the root of all evil, and it does not exempt our relationships. It’s true that a good friend should be there  through  tough and happy times but if it involves money, that should be a red flag. Unless, of course under certain circumstances. Like for example, if its an emergency case and if you have a little extra to spare, then why not? But if your friend keeps on borrowing money and even harassing you, then you should cut ties with her. Worse is if she doesn’t pay the amount you lent her and keeps on making excuses. Then, it’s bye-bye friend time.

2. Deceit— When you become someone’s friend, you instantly gain not only her affection, concern and care but also her trust. It can be hurting when the one you trust the most is the one who will deceive you. I have heard stories of deception in friends that involved money, properties, jewelry and even businesses. It’s sad to know that the person you cared about took advantage of your kindness and trust. So next time, you have to be careful in dealing with people especially when you allow them to be in your inner circle.

3. Jealousy— What happens when your friend is richer, more  successful, more beautiful, more intelligent than you? Of course, you’d be happy for  him/her and their achievements. In some cases, there are  those who become mean and jealous over their friend’s success. When this happens, it slowly ruins the friendship because the jealous one harbors ill feelings. Eventually, jealous friends usually resort to backstabbing and pretend everything’s okay but secretly jealousy  eats them up.

4. Betrayal— As they say, betrayal always comes from someone you know. Sadly, sometimes even a friend you never thought would betray you is the one who can do that to you. When someone betrays your trust, it’s hard to fix what is broken. Trust can be betrayed by divulging your friend’s secrets to others,  money concerns, falling for a friend’s  partner and so on. Trust, like glass is so hard to fix once broken.

5. Change— Time and again, it is said that nothing is permanent except change. What if the person you least expect to change, just simply changed?  Honestly, I feel sad about change in relationships but over time you have to accept that things are no longer the same. Friends can  possibly change because of circumstances, new environment, having new friends. It’s a sad reality that some outgrow people too. We just have to accept that  we are all different from each other. Accept that you are no longer  part of their circle. Thank them for the memories and move forward too with new people you will have in your life.

Personally, I’m a friendship keeper. But if these factors push me to give up on  a friend, painful it may seem, I will. In every relationship, trust and consistency are what matters. Welcome new friends, new ideas, new experiences. Then you will realize, giving up  on the friend who hurt you is the best decision ever.