WHEN PEOPLE WE LOVE LEAVE US
When I was younger I had this fairy tale notion of people, love, and relationships –that all is fair and lovely. I thought it’s never ending, that love is fair and friends will always be there. As I grew older, my whole perspective on love and relationships have changed.
Why? Because I realized people come and go. People change. When they do, they leave you with lessons etched in your heart and memories you either want to smile or forget about.
WHEN FRIENDHIPS DRIFT APART
Why does a relationship change despite the vows and promises you’ve made? Why do families and friends fall apart? Maybe because over time, we experience new things, pain, hurt, joy and these factors all contribute to how a person changes. Whether he’d stay or leave your life.
In the past, I had a hard time accepting the hurtful reality that people whom we’ve learned to love may leave us, that they may change and outgrow us.
Eventually, I’ve come to understand that they too have developed their own personalities, had their own experiences that perhaps may have led them to change their ways.
WHAT TO DO WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE YOUR LIFE
If someone you’re close to , a friend or a family member is is longer into you– no matter how much you love them, you’ve got to let them go.
Why does it happen? Because people outgrow you, They change for some reason. So, here are some suggestions on what you can do to avoid disappointment:
- Assess yourself— Re-assessing of oneself is crucial when things are drifting apart. You’ve got to think deeper why things are happening and how you can possibly fix it.
- Reach Out— Reaching out to that person may not give you the answers you want. He may deny your invite or just put you on “seen zone” but at least you tried. For me, once an invite is denied, then it’s a no. So what’s the point in pushing for a friendship or relationship to prosper again?
- Feel the hurt— Of course, you will feel the hurt! I felt disappointment and disbelief at the same time when I encountered the same experience. Friendships and relationships are meant to stay but what stings is when people you love choose to leave, choose to be with other people. You’ve got to let them. It may hurt but knowing you’ve done your part–is enough.
- Let them go–So, someone puts you on seen zone and has alibis whenever you invite him. That signals no interest and that means you should stop asking him. Letting go of a friend, a partner or a family member you’ve been so close to isn’t easy. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do so, and when that time comes, it’s gonna be so rewarding and liberating for you. Because breaking free from someone that no longer values you is the best gift you can give yourself.
- Accept What Is, Embrace What Will Be–Remember, no matter how good you are to people, how genuine your friendship was to a friend, how generous you were to a family member– still you are not in control of what they feel, think or do.
So, if people don’t like you to be in their lives anymore, let them go. That only means, they’re not meant to stay with you and it’s time to welcome what God has in store for you and may this be a lesson that we should not invest too much on people who do not value us the way we do.